'Woman chops off sleeping husband's penis, then drops it from a moving car.'Remember that headline?
Don't laugh, it's true and it could happen to you !!!
Right now , thousands of agitated, irate women are contemplating similar actions the next time their man makes an unwanted sexual advance, looks at them the wrong way, or just pisses them off in general.
Men, protect yourselves NOW !!!
If you find yourself a victim of CDS ( CHOP and DROP SYNDROME ), could you be sure the appropiate authotities would find your severed penis in time and intact? Could you be sure the penis they found was yours?
Inquire NOW about our low cost Penis Protection Plan,(PPP)
Plan 1 - We'll register your penis and scrotum and tattoo them with their own unique registration numbers, insuring that in case of, separation,you'll get a perfect match !
Plan 2 - Our Jurassic Prick Program - We'll take a cell sample from your penis and clone replacements parts for you in the event a tractor-trailer runs over your penis or some wild animal mistakes your detached member for a chewy toy.
Plan 3 - For those of you who believe in prevention, we offer a one- size- fits all, battery operated stainless steel jock strap that can be worn when necessary. When you're asleep, an alarm will be activated when metal or other hazardous objects come within one foot of the jock strap. This will guarantee you a full night's sleep, free of worry.
DON'T GET GET CAUGHT SHORT........
CALL 1-800- SAV-A-DICK TODAY........
REMEMBER THE DICK YOU SAVE COULD BE YOUR OWN !!!
*****prices vary according to size and color*****
My spin....Take a look at our favorite ginger-man...old Dave wasn't such a bad looking guy about 7/8 years ago...but damn look at him now...do you think the wear and tear on his old body is caused by sleepless nights and holding his dangle in his hand ?? Maybe he changed bimbos so often because Marg threw his nasty butt to the curb and he didn't think she would ever leave him.
Maybe he left Liza because he was actuallyafraid when she threatened to cut off his woo-woo. Old Dave looks and acts like a very lonely and sad man these days. A word if I may Dave...you have to treat a woman with respect and not as a doormat....Until you do, you better take out some penis insurance....but hey, that's just me....
Kicking back having fun and really keeping it real...
