Nicolas Cage is The Virgin Mary ... In Addition to Being a Vampire

People are starting to think that Nicolas Cage bought and built his ridiculous 9-foot tall pyramid-shaped tomb in a New Orleans cemetery in an attempt to throw us off the track that he's actually immortal.

When a a photo of a man from 1870 who bore an extreme resemblance to the actor surfaced online, we thought it was humorous, but now comes more proof that Cage might actually be centuries old.

A Reddit user named rsplen,
came across a painting of the Virgin Mary and (assuming it's not Photoshopped) we find it mighty suspicious that she too looks exactly like Cage.

The (allegedly) 48-year-old actor was asked about the Civil War era photo back in February and He told David Letterman he thought it looked like a "slowed down version" of himself .He also went on to deny beliefs that he's a vampire, by explaining that the very existence of the picture would seem to denounce the vampire theory, since folklore states a vampire's photo can't be taken.

"I don't drink blood and last time I looked in the mirror, I had a reflection, so I'm not going with the vampire theory," he concluded.

Will it ever stop :
A vampire and the Virgin, damn I thought he was a Texan.
...and we wonder why we are in trouble..........
I. Fukishima is still spewing radiation into the air and the pacific ocean, and the media isn't covering it.
2. The dollar / economy is on the verge of collapse, and the media isn't covering it.
3. The sinkhole in Louisiana, as well as other places are still growing, and the media isn't covering it.

Nicholas Cage is an Immortal.... the media has got that covered..... Puhleeze